My special blog of the day...Day 1...

I decided to begin a personal yoga challenge of my own creation, and I’m calling it #365days of #livingmyyoga. I recognize that there are drawbacks to some Instagram yoga challenges, but I admit that I mostly love participating in them...not as a chance to “show off,” but because, for me, the act of taking the photos and then editing my creations is an expression of art. It’s one of the little things that make me happy. 

Life is full of little, small joys that add up to great happiness, but somehow I’ve managed to forget that. I’ve gotten away from all the little moments of joy and eventually from the bigger things that completely light up my soul. I forgot how to express the things that make me authentically me. And it shows. I have felt like a hollowed out shell walking around in an endless cycle of knee-jerk reactions. The pain of watching loved ones suffer, trying to come to grips with the impending loss of a parent, navigating through injuries and a changing body, relationships that are broken, and lots and lots of transition...well, I just seem to have lost my way in the dark for a time. But I know and am so grateful for the fact that there is always light. And I know how to find my way back. I’m a fighter, but I never realized that or gave myself credit for it until later in life.

I miss my mat. I miss the quiet space where love and purity and compassion and truth speak to me. So I’m re-dedicating myself and starting anew with this personal, daily challenge...one that will challenge me to live my yoga in every aspect of my life, every single day, not just in the asanas (physical postures). The pictures you’ll see me post will encompass hopefully ALL of what yoga is...the physical practice, the quiet reflection and meditation...finding contentment...reveling in the many joys of life...opening my heart to compassion for myself and others...cultivating self study and discipline...finding the spiritual in everyday surroundings and people...and more. I want to be mindful and aware of my inhales, exhales, and all the pauses in between—especially the pauses in between, where I can feel my human heart beating and yet sense the existence of eternity and all the limitless love and possibilities inside me at the same time. 

This is going to be me...raw, real, and honest, while striving to reclaim my life, my power, and my joy. Not to mention fulfilling my need to write and create, which for me gives me so much happiness.

If you’re reading this, thank you, and I hope you’ll stick with me on my journey.  You can follow along on Instagram at texas_yogagirl.

As always, with love...

Tammy

Bend but not Break

     Sometimes I'm chugging along in life on a certain "plan" of mine, and then the Universe says, "Oh, just kidding!"  Suddenly, a goal or a dream of mine that I was doggedly pursuing gets turned completely on its head.  What does it all mean?!  Does the Universe have a cruel sense of humor??  It certainly may seem that way sometimes.

     If there is anything I've learned in my 44 years of life, though, it is how to bend but not break...how to laugh into the winds of a raging storm...how to cry but then pick myself up, dust myself off, and say "alrighty then, what's next?"  Sometimes (okay, many times), life throws us curve balls.  The path of life is not straight, but rather, it is full of crooked streets, turns, hairpin curves, steep drops, and equally steep hills.  Some folks would call that a roller coaster, and who doesn't love roller coasters, right?!  Um...ahem...that would be me.  Can I not just enjoy myself on the freaking spinning teacups or the predictable swinging pendulum-motion of the pirate ship, for heaven's sake??  "Of course not!", says the Universe.  "Where would the fun be in THAT?"

     Sigh...

     Okay.  So, here we are.  Life is no longer as it once was, the predictable is no longer predictable, and the path we were on has suddenly taken a hairpin turn.  What now?  Do we fumble?  Or do we recover the ball and run for the touchdown?  (Yes, that's my lame attempt at a sports reference--brave, considering my knowledge of sports comprises a space smaller than a snow pea.)

     I'll tell you what we do.  We pick up that ball.  We do a little dance next (the dance is important--don't leave that part out).  And then we run like hell for the goal.  "But what's the goal?" you ask.  LIFE.  Life is the goal.  Experience is the goal.  Living, breathing, experiencing, feeling, loving, laughing, and learning is the goal.  Forget your carefully-laid plans.  Forget how you thought it was "supposed" to be.  Instead, be open to possibilities.  Throw your arms open wide, let the wind dry your tears, laugh into the clouds, and search eagerly for the rainbow at the end of the storm.  Because what we think is a closed door is actually a detour to a better one that will open with ease.  We may not see it at the time, and that's okay--we don't have to understand...we only have to trust and let go.  We only have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, loving life and loving each other, and finding the joy that exists in each present moment and in every precious breath that we take.

     Every time I think I have it all figured out, the Universe...God...that Power greater than myself...reminds me that we never "figure it all out"...because, well, where would the adventure be in that?  I will keep going.  I will sway my beautiful tree in the wind.  I will bend, but I will not break.

Love you all.  Now go do that dance.  ;-)